Writing my way through life, one word at a time.
In the last decade, a plethora of business and self- improvement books have cropped up – all either extolling the virtues of saying yes or purporting to teach you how to get others to say yes to you. Always the contrarian, I’m going to spend some time explaining why saying ‘no’ has opened my life to far more joy and far less stress than saying yes ever did.
It’s not much of a secret that I think New Year’s resolutions are a bit of a fool’s game, and not only because I’m already sick of the weight loss and fitness infomercials / advertisements online and on the television. I have nothing against self improvement, but I really wish gyms would have sales year round instead of just in January when the weather is crappy and blowing snow can make it impossible for me to leave the house. I turned off the extension I usually use in my browser that prevents advertisements from sneaking through as an experiment – I was curious as to what kind of ads would show up. The answer? Unhealthy fad diets, workout programs making unrealistic and unattainable promises, and meal delivery programs that a) won’t deliver to rural areas and b) are seriously overpriced. I ended the experiment 2 days after I started because the ads were seriously getting on my nerves. I understand that a new year (by one calendar) is a convenient time to make changes, but I don’t like the pressure of New Year’s resolutions so I don’t participate. I’m far more likely to embark on a journey towards self improvement on a random Thursday in March than January 1st. As for all of my ‘friends’ on social media who are hard selling nutritional supplements, exercise programs, and other ‘miracle cures’, the offending posts have been muted and will probably stay that way for the foreseeable future (and in some cases the ‘friends’ have been unfollowed / unfriended if all they were doing was shilling). Don’t call me, I’ll call you (actually I won’t, but still – don’t call me.).
This isn’t my usual etymological Word Wednesday post, but is a post about a word and it is Wednesday, and I created Word Wednesday and am free to switch it up as I choose. 🙂 I am an introvert, though I can play the part of an extrovert when needed. At my core, I am happiest when alone. I tend to think up witty retorts far better on paper (or on screen) than in conversation. Which is really why I’m writing this post. Last week, I had a conversation with an acquaintance who asked what I did for a living. I told her I worked with kids who have autism but that my primary source of income is my writing and editing business. “Oh, you’re just a writer” she replied “that’s the usual fallback for people who don’t know what they’re good at right? Because everybody can write”. I smiled politely, because by the time I’d processed the fact that she’d just completely dismissed my craft, she was already prattling on about some other subject. Having had a few days to stew on the matter, here’s my response.
For those who know me off-line, it comes as no surprise that I characterize myself as persistent and mildly stubborn. It’s not that I don’t like change, it’s that I need time to get used to the idea and adequately prepare myself. I will never be the type of person who heads off on a vacation with nothing more than an airline ticket and a dream. There are times when I really want to be that kind of person, but even the idea of doing that stresses me out to no end. My best friend is moving soon, and will be without a place to call home for two weeks. She has 2 kids, works for herself, and has a husband who commutes and can work long hours. The idea of not having a firm place to call home for just me fills me with anxiety, yet she is unflappable. I know this wasn’t the plan, but it’s just how things worked out with the closing date on their house and the one they’re moving into. She took it all in stride – I envy that quality – I’d be freaking out. I wish I could be so trusting that everything will work out but I’m an obsessive planner.
It’s no secret that I’m an introvert by nature. I like people and once I’m comfortable with you, I’ll never shut up, but groups of people, make me seriously nervous. I get overwhelmed and then all I can think about is running away and hiding in a corner. Give me a group big enough that I can’t possibly interact with all of the individual members though, and I’m perfectly fine. I loved lecturing to large undergraduate classes, but for the first few weeks of classes, whenever I had to lead a small group seminar I wanted to hurl. Fortunately, I never did, and by all accounts I was really good at being a Teaching Assistant – at least if my feedback sheets were anything to go by. [Read more…]