Tag: love

How my BlackBerry Passport Equals Mobile Freedom

How my BlackBerry Passport Equals Mobile Freedom

It’s no secret that I love my BlackBerry devices. I have a BlackBerry in my hand for a good 60% of the day. One of the things I love most about BlackBerry is how easy it makes it to work on the go. I wrote about my Blackberry Classic and how much I loved it and the difficulties in choosing a case for it. I’ve found the same thing with my BlackBerry Passport. I love the Passport even more than the Classic. At first I thought it was going to be too big. I looked down at the device in the box and thought “I’ll probably be using the Classic again within a month”. Well, I was wrong. So very wrong. The Classic has found a new home in the hands of my dad, and the Passport is mine, all mine. I mentioned with regards to the Classic how much I had missed the physical keyboard even though I had loved my Z30 with all my heart. Well the Passport takes the keyboard experience to a whole new level. It just feels right. The screen width on the Passport makes reading text a breeze – the wider screen allows more characters which reduces scrolling (and makes me a happier reader). Contrary to what I thought before I had a Passport, the Passport does fit in my pants pocket, and in my purse, so it goes pretty much everywhere I go. I have a BlackBerry hard shell case on it 90% of the time and a Folio case with a credit card slot the rest of the time (It’s an aftermarket one, but needs improvements if it was going to be a daily driver).

Last fall, I talked about the Blissdom Canada Social Media Conference and how I presented a micro-session there. What I didn’t say was that I did most of the planning for that session on my BlackBerry Passport. I didn’t want to have to carry my laptop around for the day, or make the trek back across Blue Mountain Resort to drop it back in my room. Instead I used Docs to go, and planned out my entire presentation on my mobile device. I travel 1-2 days a week and work remotely. Lately I’ve been doing all the work I need with just my BlackBerry Passport. I have a list of clients and projects on the go in BlackBerry Remember – I love how easy it is to add notes to items or mark items as finished and how I can flag email messages and attach them to the task list so that I’m not constantly going back and forth to check details from an email. I currently have 14 projects on the go and they’re all lined up neatly within the Remember app. In May, I’m going to be speaking at ROAM – another Social Media event – this time in Vancouver. My travel arrangements are in BlackBerry Travel – including confirmation numbers, hotel phone numbers, and event details. If someone asks me where I’ll be on one of the days when I’m in Vancouver, all I have to do is open BlackBerry Travel and all the information is right there. I’m not taking my laptop to ROAM either. Having attended a number of conferences in the last 12 months and presented at one, I’m confident that my BlackBerry Passport will be all I need to work on the go.

Working remotely via the BlackBerry Passport is awesome. One of the things that I love most about working from my BlackBerry is that unlike some other phones where you can only edit or view a document on the go, my BlackBerry Passport allows me to start a new document or spreadsheet, so I can start on a new project before I get back to my computer. Given that the vast majority of my work is done in either Excel or Word, the ability to start documents is a must. There are so many little things to love about my Passport too – The Hub, for example. I’ve written about my love of the Hub before but it’s at a new level now that I’m emailing attachments almost daily. I love that I can search through email attachments directly from the hub while I’m on the phone with a client – there’s no lost time, which is good since I have very little to spare these days. I love the way my Passport looks too – fashion isn’t a deal-breaker for me but it’s nice when function and fashion meld together so seamlessly.

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My Passport battery gets me through the work day – and I’ve been told I’m exceptionally hard on battery life due to the number of high drain apps I like to run at the same time. I use Facebook a lot for business these days, and while the loss of the dedicated Facebook app was hard on me, I actually enjoy the mobile browser experience more in terms of the capabilities to manage my pages. I’ve been off of Twitter lately due to some ugliness there, but check in via Blaq or the native Twitter app daily even if I’m not tweeting as much. I’m hoping that the problem has been solved by my recent blocking spree, and will be back to using Twitter to talk about the things I love. Instagram – while there isn’t a native client for Instagram, there is a great app called Igrann that gives me all the access I need to take amazing photos and share them with the world. I love how easy it is to edit pictures in the native BlackBerry photo editor and a huge bonus is the 1:1 ratio that is the default on the Passport – making all my pictures perfect for Instagram without cropping (Yes, I know cropping is pretty simple but hey…saving time and effort is awesome). The Passport camera is amazing and I love taking effortless panorama shots.

Panorama picture from the last Argos game at the Rogers Centre. I love how panorama mode allowed me to capture everything in one shot.

I use BlackBerry Messenger to set up meetings more than I use email now. I’ve convinced quite a few of my clients to try out BBM for Android or Iphone (those that aren’t already on BlackBerry devices) and love how easy it is to chat, add pictures, and even send works in progress back and forth over BBM. I could do that over text message I guess, but then I’m using MMS which can be expensive for some people, while BBM works over wifi. I’m not a heavy email user – I probably send 25 a day and receive about 100 that I need to read, but I use my BlackBerry Passport about 95% of the time when I’m sending or reading emails. It’s just that much more convenient. I also use my car’s Bluetooth connection and have the BlackBerry Assistant read emails to me if I’m driving when an important email comes in.

Recently one of my friends joked that BlackBerry devices seem to be an extension of me – whether it was my Z30, my Passport, or my Classic, they seem like natural extensions of my body. I choose to take that as a compliment. We are well suited for each other – BlackBerry devices enable me to keep my busy life organized and allow me to work wherever I find myself as long as I have a signal. I couldn’t imagine trying to do what I do without a BlackBerry in my hand – I’m pretty sure it would be theoretically possible, but I know it wouldn’t be anywhere near as enjoyable. Have questions? Feel free to leave them below or find me on Social Media – I’m always willing to help #TeamBlackBerry. Oh and this post? I wrote it entirely on my Passport – all 1300 words.

April 25, 2016
Heartache and healing

Heartache and healing

Regular readers may remember about six weeks ago, I published a post about music, depression, and grief that outlined how music helps me through some of the hard moments in life. I heard from many of you that it echoed how you felt about music. Music has always been something that brought people together and made them forget their troubles for awhile. Until it wasn’t.

On Friday November 13 2015, at approximately 9:40 local time, 3 men exited their car and entered the Bataclan Concert Hall where the American band Eagles of Death Metal were playing to a crowd of around 1500 people and opened fire using automatic rifles. According to reports, they fired into the crowd from the mezzanine to kill as many people as possible and inspire terror. 89 people were killed at the Bataclan that night, with hundreds more wounded.

On November 18th, I went with a close friend to see a concert that I had been looking forward to for months – Alan Doyle and the Beautiful Gypsies and Barenaked Ladies. The show surpassed my expectations. Not only did I get a night out with a great friend (who really needed the break), but I got a picture at Intermision with Alan Doyle, and my CDs signed. The music – Where do I start with the music? Alan Doyle was amazing. He sings with such joy that you can’t help but be swept up and be happy. He sang many of the songs off of his new album, including the title track and my personal favourite, 1,2,3,4.

When he stopped to tell the story behind the song Laying Down to Perish, I got goosebumps. Alan is a natural storyteller, and kept the audience on the edge of their seat with the story. The song was inspired by a trip to a museum on Fogo Island in Newfoundland where he saw an odd artifact, and, with the curiosity of a historian, asked questions. The artifact in question was a mariner’s gaff – a wooden pole with a hook on one end used to stab fish either on the ice or on a boat – with four names and the words “lay down to perish” carved into it. It seems the four men went out on the ice to fish and got caught by the shifting tide and realized they couldn’t get back to shore. In order to give their families closure, they carved their names on the gaff along with what they planned to do – lay down to perish – and set it adrift so that when it reached land, their families would know what happened to them and not roam the coast looking for them or hold out hope that one day the men would return. Doyle tells the story much better than I do, and the song he wrote after being inspired by this story is a most fitting tribute to these brave men.

I was crying before the first chorus. Barenaked Ladies came out for the second half of the concert, started with high energy songs, and soon had everyone up and dancing. Those guys sure know how to put on a show! I’ve always enjoyed the band, but had continual bad luck with concert timing and this was only the second time I’d seen them live. I bought my ticket based on Alan Doyle playing but knew both halves of the concert would be awesome. BNL fans are awesome and dedicated – during their song Duct Tape Heart, an audience member tossed a bra made out of duct tape onto the stage, and lead singer Ed Robertson gamely picked it up with his guitar and played the rest of the song with it on the end of his guitar. A few songs later during Pinch Me, someone threw a very large pair of underwear on stage – at the appropriate part in the song of course – and Robertson picked them up again with his guitar.

I’m amazed I got a picture of that.

I thought they would fly off

My friend and I were laughing and dancing along with everyone else in the concert hall. It was an amazing 3 hours of music and fun. All of the musicians in both bands came out to do a joint number – 9 musicians on one stage singing If I Had A Million Dollars, one of BNL’s first big hits.

The whole gang on stage

I don’t have any universal answers to offer, but I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to continue to enjoy live music, and I’m going to do it for the 89 music lovers who died doing something they loved. I may be a little trepidatious at first, but I will go, because by giving in to the fear, the terrorists would win. Music is a universal language – whose dictionary does not include the word terrorism. I’m going to fight fear and hatred with love and understanding. Who’s with me?

November 24, 2015
An Open Letter to Parents of Special Needs Children

An Open Letter to Parents of Special Needs Children

I’ve got something to tell you, and I’m pretty sure you all need to hear it right about now. Whether it’s back to school time coming up shortly, or your kid has already been in school for the past few weeks, it’s going to be okay. It may not seem like it now – with the routine changes and the frustrations of explaining once again why sitting Johnny by the door is an invitation to disaster, but it will be okay.

I’m not just talking about school either. I’m talking long term here. I know you’re worried about your children and their ability to cope in a world that seems have the deck stacked against them. I understand your fear that your sensitive child will have his nascent ego shattered by an unkind word or action. I feel your frustration when the services that you worked so hard arrange fall through.

I get it. I really, really do.

So here’s the first phrase:

It’s going to be okay.

You will get through this with the love and support of friends and family. You will fight for your child with more ferocity and determination than you knew you possessed.

Your child will surprise you again and again with their resilience. They will fill your heart with joy as they progress towards their current goal. You will be there every step of the way, cheering their accomplishments, comforting them in their setbacks, and helping them get set to try again, because that’s what you do.

Now here’s the second phrase:

You are not alone.

You will get through this with the love and support of friends, family, and community supports. Your child will survive – and thrive – because there are so many great teachers, therapists, personal support workers, doctors, and parents out there to help them. They will shine as the world slowly changes to accept that different from does not mean less than.

You’re in the trenches day in and day out. It can be hard to see the forest when you’re staring at one tiny sapling bending in the wind, but I can see the forest. It’s beautiful and full of hope.

Our children are growing up learning that our differences make us special and that everyone deserves love and respect. Yes, there are some adults who never learned that lesson, but they are the minority. Most of the world sees your child not as an object of pity, but simply as another child. Don’t let the unfortunate few who have not moved with the times cast a shadow over your happiness – keep moving until you are no longer touched by their shadow.

As the parent of a special needs child, you are raising hope. You are raising part of the next generation, the generation who teach the world being different is awesome and everybody has something to contribute to society, even those who cannot speak for themselves, or those who are more finely in tune with their senses than the rest of us.

Children today are more accepting than even their parents, who, in turn, are more tolerant than the generation before them. Change doesn’t happen overnight but it does happen. The world is changing, slowly but surely, and kids like yours are the catalysts for this transformation.

Take a deep breath and repeat after me:

It’s going to be okay. Because you are not alone.

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August 28, 2015
Word Wednesday – An old word that has new life in the Internet Age

Word Wednesday – An old word that has new life in the Internet Age

It’s been an interesting week here. Had an amazing time out with friends Friday, went up to the cottage on Saturday, and returned Tuesday. Oh… and last Wednesday I watched the ESPYs (ESPN Awards) to see Caitlyn Jenner get the Arthur Ashe Courage Award and unwittingly stepped on an internet landmine when I tweeted that I thought she looked great and that I thought she deserved the award. A few people took umbrage at my choice of pronoun and decided to tell me all about how it is a crime against nature and / or God – both privately via DM or in a Twitter conversation. I disagree wholeheartedly, and think that views like that are exactly why she deserved the Arthur Ashe Courage Award. Bruce Jenner could have easily faded into obscurity, becoming a footnote in Olympic history, but chose to make the metamorphosis into Caitlyn Jenner public. She knew there would be backlash, and a lot of it, yet chose to do it anyway. To me, that is what courage is all about. She is using her celebrity to raise awareness and I applaud her for that. As she said last Wednesday night, “If you want to call me names, make jokes, doubt my intentions, go ahead, because the reality is, I can take it, but for the thousands of kids out there coming to terms with who they really are, they shouldn’t have to take it”.

Caitlyn Jenner at the mic at the ESPYs

It seems like some people on the Internet took the first part of that sentence as a challenge. I broke the first rule of the internet last Thursday when I read comments about the award. Wow. Huge mistake on my part. I was simultaneously flabbergasted and disgusted with many commentators. Comments ranged from “Jenner is an ‘it’ not a ‘she’”, to “Bruce Jenner was the one who won the medals, Caitlyn Jenner is a nobody”, and even to “if you say you were born as a woman in a man’s body, you are accusing your Creator of making a mistake. Only depravity and ignorance can bring someone to THAT conclusion!”. I understand that there are people who don’t agree with Ms. Jenner’s choices – the good news is, nobody is forcing them to become transgender. Nobody forced any of these commentators to watch Caitlyn Jenner get the award. I’m fairly certain it wasn’t a surprise to anyone that she was getting the award, so if they were that bothered by her choice, then why watch it in the first place? There were some commentators bashing their heads against brick walls and trying to refute the worst of the comments, but they were very much outnumbered by people who make the case for bringing back this week’s Word Wednesday word: Anonymuncule.

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This word was coined in the 19th century, but I think it should be revisited and brought back into common usage today. The word means: An Insignificant, Anonymous Writer. It’s a compound word, made up of anonymoyus – not identified by name, and homunculus – little man (used in the maturity context instead of the physical one in this case). I think it’s a great word for the Internet age – who amongst us has not encountered anonymuncules online? People who hide behind the anonymity the world wide web gives them and pass judgement. Yes, we could call them a troll but I’m not sure that’s fair to trolls. The classic Internet definition of troll (as in not the ugly creature living under a bridge) courtesy of dictionary.com is “to post inflammatory or inappropriate messages or comments on the Internet, especially a message board, for the purpose of upsetting other users and provoking a response”. So to me, there is a difference between an anonymuncule and a troll in that the latter is deliberately being provocative while the former may not be trying to start a fight, but just stating an uninformed view. I think I’m going to start using anonymuncule whenever I need a good word for someone on the internet.

Anonymuncule: (anon·y·mun·cule) Noun

an insignificant anonymous writer

I’m going to put in a usage, lest you think I made up this word…

Who, after all, that I should write of him, is this scribbling anonymuncule in grand old Massachusetts who scrawls and screams so glibly about what he cannot understand? ~ From Miscellanies by Oscar Wilde.

So I guess, maybe, that sometimes breaking the first rule of the Internet (Don’t read the comments), isn’t the worst thing ever – not when you get to learn a fun word like anonymuncule.

July 22, 2015
The Walls Have Ears…

The Walls Have Ears…

One of the things that brings me joy is my work with children and teens who have Autism or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). When I tell people that I tutor and coach people with ASD I often get quizzical looks or outright questions of why I would want to do something like that.

I often get asked “How do you deal with the behaviours?”. The same way I would deal with the behaviours in a child without ASD. I look for the cause. Behaviours are not the problem – they are the symptom of a problem. The child who cannot sit still is not fidgeting because they want to be disruptive, they are fidgeting because something is making them uncomfortable and they don’t have another way to express it. One of the most common symptoms of ASD is a delay or difference in communication. Some children with ASD never speak, some will talk your ear off about their favourite topic but be unable to answer questions about their day or make casual conversation. If a child with ASD is exhibiting a behaviour such as crying, screaming, or pulling at their clothing, I try to figure out what is causing them to be upset. Something isn’t right in their world and they are trying to communicate that with me. Often the behaviours will disappear when the root cause is dealt with. That’s not to say I don’t get frustrated. When you’ve been bitten for the fourth time in 30 minutes by a 10 year old with a very strong jaw, you can lose a little perspective, but I try to remember to detach myself and attempt to figure out what the behaviour is telling me.

There is a misconception that people with ASD are not capapble of expressing love, or any emotion, or that they are locked inside their own world and refuse to come out. In my 8 years of experience working with numerous children on the spectrum, I have never found a child who can’t or won’t express love or gratitude or happiness. Some express it in ways that are different from what you would expect from a neurotypical child but it is still a valid expression of emotion. I have had some of the best, warmest, hugs from kids with ASD so no, not all kids with ASD are incapable of showing emotion.

And sometimes, they break your heart. Recently, I was doing a tutoring session with a boy who has Autism. We were talking about different ways to solve a math problem, and why it’s good to have more than one way of doing something. All of a sudden, he turned to me and said “I don’t think like other people. I wish I did, so they wouldn’t think I’m dumb”. My heart just ached. It turns out he’s been having issues in school that his parents, EA, the teacher, and I missed. He has had a few group projects lately and there have been some tensions in the group (as there are with all group projects) that have been made worse by him underreacting or overreacting to a situation. The situations have been dealt with but the perceptions of his classmates have been altered. Some think he is weird. Some think he is loud. At least one of them thinks he is dumb. How do I know this? Because this sweet, wonderful boy overheard some of his classmates talking about him at recess. He is very quiet when he wants to be, and has learned the art of blending into the background in order to disappear when he is stressed out. He tells me he was sitting beside the stairs to a portable at recess and overheard some of his classmates complaining about being “stuck” in a group with him – they went on to say that he has “crazy ideas”, and “doesn’t help in the right way” (what IS the right way? Isn’t all help good?) and “must be stupid since he doesn’t talk much”. I asked him when this conversation took place – over a month ago. He has been carrying this around for the last month, afraid to give voice to it lest another person agree with his classmates.

I pushed aside the math homework, we had a chat about how differences in thinking are what make the world a better place to live in, how some of the greatest minds in history have been people who think differently, and about how what we see and hear is not the only truth. I explained that his classmates were wrong about him, and that they were wrong to talk about him (or anyone) behind his back. We discussed how he could handle a similar incident in the future. We made a plan. I wrote a note for his EA and teacher, letting him read it before I printed it off, and he and I had a talk with his mom so that all of his support team were on the same page. He doesn’t want anyone to talk to the classmates in question, and I can’t really blame him for that. He’s feeling better about himself and his teacher and EA are going to talk to the whole class about ways to make everyone feel welcome and why saying mean things isn’t okay even if you don’t think the person is there to hear it. He’s also going to take on a specific role in future group projects – he likes to listen and is good at taking notes so he suggested that he would make a good recorder. This gives him a specific task that he can excel at which should help his self esteem and help his classmates see his strengths instead of his challenges. I hope the strategy works and I’m honoured that he felt safe enough with me to tell me of his heartache. I know I can’t protect the kids I work with from having their feelings hurt, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could.

March 12, 2015
Book Review: Emily Giffin’s The One and Only

Book Review: Emily Giffin’s The One and Only

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For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a complete and total football junkie and have been since I was a toddler. I’m also an avid reader and quite enjoy the genre known as “chick lit”. One of my favourite writers in this genre has been Emily Giffin . I find her work engaging and fun to read with characters I can relate to. Given this, imagine my glee when I found out that Giffin’s latest book, The One & Only, was going to feature a female football reporter as the protagonist. I may have squealed. Loudly. Then I made an almost fatal mistake – I crowd sourced. I often hit up Goodreads when I find a book I like just to see what others have thought about it. I saw a lot of negative Nellies complaining about the book making generalizations about women who love football always being in it for a guy, that there was too much football (no such thing imho) and not enough plot, or that the characters weren’t relatable. I hate feeling disappointed or let down by an author I love so I put the book aside for a few days to think about whether or not I wanted to read it. I took it up to the cottage with me because I’m always running out of books to read (especially when the weather is as dismal as it was this summer, rainy and cold for most of my vacation) and I’m really glad I did. Had I not read the book based on those few Goodreads users who really disliked the book, I would have missed out on one of my favourite books so far this year.

I could immediately relate to the main character, Shea Rigsby. I lost track of the number of times I said “Oh My God, Yes. That.” while reading after the first 3 chapters. I thought there was just the right amount of football details in the book, especially considering that a portion of the target audience wouldn’t have much prior knowledge of the intricacies of the sport. Giffin was careful to give readers enough information to be able to understand how football worked within the context of the plot but didn’t overload readers with useless tidbits. Being Canadian, I am more used to how college football works up here, so the extra insight into the NCAA and how the organization impacts every team was eye opening.

The One & Only isn’t just a book about football though; it is a book about love, loyalty, football, and change. None of these themes operate in isolation and they all complement each other beautifully to make this book impossible to put down. I think almost every reader can relate to Shea’s struggle to follow her heart and the questions of loyalty that doing that create for her. We have all been in Shea’s shoes at one point in our lives – trying to decide if we should step off the edge into the unknown or stay close to home, with our security blanket. For Shea, stepping off the edge means leaving the town she grew up in, the one where her best friend lives, where she went to college, and where she got a job working for the athletic department at the school. Shea has begun to wonder if all she has ever known is enough – or if there is something better out there in the wider world. Along the way, Shea finds that some of the people in her life aren’t who she thought they were and that loyalty is more than wearing a team jersey on game day. In essence this is a coming of age novel, where the protagonist is left to discover The One and Only thing that makes her life worth living.

In the end, I was not able to put the book down until it was finished and have re-read it once already and recommended it to random strangers in bookstores if I saw them hovering near a copy of the book. The moral of my story is pretty simple – don’t judge a book by it’s cover (although this one is gorgeous and understated and perfect), and don’t be put off by a few negative reviews on a social media site. You may miss out on an amazing read.

The One & Only is available in Hardcover, Trade Paperback, Audio, and E-book editions.

September 22, 2014
BBM

BBM

One of my favourite applications on my Bold 9900 is BlackBerry Messenger or BBM. BBM is more than simply a messaging system – it’s an easy way to keep in touch and coordinate events with my friends and family. BBM allows me to share my calendar appointments with the people I need to – I can invite a friend to a concert or my parents to a family dinner. It also allows me to easily send pictures in a compressed format. I use this feature while shopping if i need a quick opinion from a friend on a shirt or a pair of shoes. With BBM connected apps I can chat with my BBM contacts within certain apps such as foursquare or twitter. The biggest advantage BBM has over text messaging is that messages in BBM can be up to 2000 characters long. This means that I can send 1 longer message and get the whole story across. My favourite feature of BBM (apart from it not using any of my data because of the plan I’m on) is that I can see when my messages are delivered and read. I can invite multiple people to join a conversation – which comes in very handy when I’ve been at a large event and want to meet up with people. Adding people to BBM is really easy too – from the “invite to BBM” screen, you can enter the person’s name, email, phone number, or PIN. If you’re in the same room as the person you want to add you can scan their BBM bar code – it’s really neat and easy to do.

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Displaying your bar code for others to scan was a bit tricky at first but then I learned that all I had to do was hit the BlackBerry button

while in BBM, select “view my profile”, and then scroll down to “personal bar code” and select “show”. Quick and efficient.

A feature that I’ve started using recently is BBM Groups. BBM groups are different from simply having a chat with multiple people in it. For starters you can have people in your BBM group who aren’t on your BBM contact list. You can have up to 30 people in a BBM group. I have one for my football contacts and love being able to make and share appointments and pictures quickly within the group. Joining a group is as easy as scanning the group bar code. You can invite other people to join a group you’ve made by getting them to scan the group bar code as you display it on your phone. I was a guest of BlackBerry at the Manulife Financial LPGA tournament in Waterloo last week, I couldn’t attend the final day (Sunday) due to other commitments, but because I had scanned a BBM bar code from BlackBerry@LPGA I was kept up to date with tournament and scoring information. Several other organizations have similar promotions – you can become a BlackBerry Blue Jays Insider by entering the PIN or scanning the bar code found at Bluejays.com. This gives you access to contests, video content on your device, score updates and more.

To be honest, I never thought I’d use BBM as much as I do. It has become something I just can’t live without.

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June 26, 2012
Only Children…

Only Children…

Some recent news articles have made me think about my status as an only child. My mum, asked me a few months ago whether I felt left out because I was an only child.   I didn’t then and I don’t now. I loved being an only child. I’m sure I would have loved siblings too but being an only gave me advantages I wouldn’t have otherwise had. That’s not to say that I was spoiled. My parents took great care to avoid that. For starters I had a bunch of cousins within a 10 minute drive from my house who were over a lot and tortured me like siblings.   They took my stuff and roughhoused and generally had a good time.

I was also involved in Guiding, hockey, and swimming lessons plus occasionally other things like a little chefs course. I was well socialized and I’m not sure that I could have done all those things if there was a sibling in the mix.

I wasn’t lonely. I was the type of kid who was happiest reading a book, and in books I found all sorts of wonderful people and stories. I also had a lot of friends who I could go and call on and play with after school or on weekends.    Yes… go out and play – around the corner or, when i got a little older, down the block and through the walkway. I played with my friends, got annoyed by their siblings and returned to my cozy home.

I am both my father’s daughter and my mother’s daughter. Mum and I would sit and do crafts and she would patiently teach me how to knit day after day when I forgot. Would we have had all that 1 on 1 time if I had siblings?   Dad treated me like one of the boys – I got to watch sports with him. Hockey, Auto racing, and football. Dad loves football and as he put it, they were pretty sure they were only going to have 1 kid, there was 1 tv, mum tolerated football but didn’t love it and he wanted to make sure the vote would be 2 vs 1 FOR football. Hence my beginnings as a football junkie. I wonder if I had had a brother, if my dad would have spent as much time explaining all the nuances of football to me? I’d like to think so but I’m not sure.

I know i missed out on things by not having a sibling. Mum’s big worry is that I won’t have family to support me when they die. I told her that I have friends and that just because people are related by blood doesn’t necessarily mean that they can stand each other.    I feel loved and supported by the friends I have made and that is enough for me.

I wouldn’t have minded to have had someone else to blame things on either, come to think of it.    When there was trouble in the house or something got broken, it was almost always my fault and I took the blame. If I’d had a younger sibling, I could have blamed them. There’s only so much you can blame on a dog.

Overall I feel like I had a well-rounded, happy childhood. I don’t think that I missed anything huge by not having biological siblings, I have a few friends who are as close to me as they are to their biological siblings if not closer.

I know quite a few only children, and none of us feel like we were deprived in any way of part of our childhood. I’ve had friends worry that they don’t have a sibling for their child yet. Relax, I tell them, even if you don’t ever end up with another kid, your firstborn won’t be horribly scarred. I may not get the mushy “sister” cards, but that’s ok with me.

August 17, 2011
Unfair

Unfair

Life is unfair sometimes. I am an adult and I get that concept. What I don’t understand is why my friend Mishi is being dealt such a crap hand by the universe right now. Her beautiful 2-year-old daughter, Stella has been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. She is going to die and it will be sooner rather than later.
I met Mishi years ago (and no I don’t remember how many) in a band called Argonotes. We played at football games and had a lot of fun. Mishi met and fell in love with a wonderful woman named Aimee. They decided to have children. They were blessed with a beautiful little girl who they named Stella Joy. And yet she is dying. It’s been less than 2 months since they got the devastating news that Stella Joy is not long for this world. I don’t even want to think about whether I could show the kind of strength that they are displaying on a daily basis. From the beginning their priorities have been to ensure that Stella has a fabulous summer and cram as much life into the time she has left. I am truly in awe of these two fabulous people.

You can read their whole story here (note: you may want a box of kleenex handy).

https://web.archive.org/web/20181127171144/http://www.stellabrunermethven.com/

August 11, 2011