Jenn Writes

Writing my way through life, one word at a time.

Book Review: Emily Giffin’s The One and Only

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For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a complete and total football junkie and have been since I was a toddler.  I’m also an avid reader and quite enjoy the genre known as “chick lit”. One of my favourite writers in this genre has been Emily Giffin . I find her work engaging and fun to read with characters I can relate to. Given this, imagine my glee when I found out that Giffin’s latest book, The One & Only,  was going to feature a female football reporter as the protagonist. I may have squealed. Loudly. Then I made an almost fatal mistake – I crowd sourced. I often hit up Goodreads when I find a book I like just to see what others have thought about it.  I saw a lot of negative Nellies complaining about the book making generalizations about women who love football always being in it for a guy, that there was too much football (no such thing imho) and not enough plot, or that the characters weren’t relatable. I hate feeling disappointed or let down by an author I love so I put the book aside for a few days to think about whether or not I wanted to read it. I took it up to the cottage with me because I’m always running out of books to read (especially when the weather is as dismal as it was this summer, rainy and cold for most of my vacation) and I’m really glad I did. Had I not read the book based on those few Goodreads users who really disliked the book, I would have missed out on one of my favourite books so far this year.

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Science really does Rock!

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As a kid, one of my favourite places to go in Toronto was the Ontario Science Centre. Between the bouncy bridge, the electrostatic ball that made my hair stand up (mine went straight up and out to both sides), making paper, and the machine that said “coffee” in different pitches, it was a great place to spend a day. I went with school, with my parents, and with Girl Guides – usually at least a couple of times every year. Then when I was a teenager, I didn’t go as often – and when I did go I was helping out with younger cousins or my Brownie unit. As an adult, my experience with the Science Centre has been as a leader with Girl Guides (which includes 2 “Sleepovers” with my Brownie unit which mainly consisted of me chasing down 7 year olds who didn’t want to sleep at 3 am and trying / failing to convince them to go back to their sleeping bags) and taking my friends’ kids around the exhibits. While I won’t do another sleepover soon (my Pathfinders prefer to camp and are too old for the official “Sleepover at the Science Centre” program), I have quite enjoyed taking my friends’ kids to the Science Centre. The one problem I’ve had is that the while the Ontario Science Centre has a lot of exhibits that are of interest to adults, it can be hard to see them and almost impossible to interact with them when there are kids around. I mean I’m not going to push a little kid out of the way so that I can play with a fun exhibit – that’s a jerk move if ever there was one. Besides, it’s hard to enjoy the exhibit when you’re also watching to make sure that little Janey doesn’t disappear again or that little Johnny isn’t punching the kid behind him in line. [Please tell me I’m not the only one this happens to out in public]

 

 

All of this is why, whenI heard about ScienceRocks! at the Ontario Science Centre I knew I had to go check it out. ScienceRocks! is a chance for adults (19 + as there is alcohol available for sale) to explore the amazing Science of Rock and Roll exhibit without any children present. I got a couple of girlfriends together and we met up at the Science Centre not sure what to expect but hoping for a fun girls night out at the very least. We were clearly not the only ones with this idea, and a number of couples seemed to have chosen the event as a great place for date night. If you have only been to the Science Centre with kids in tow, you need to come and see it after dark.  There is something about walking through the Science Centre sipping on a gin and tonic that makes you feel like a rebel.

Keytar, rock and roll, music
The Keytar is from the 1980s time capsule.

There were so many things to do that I stayed for the whole event (which runs from 7pm-midnight).  I didn’t get a chance to see the IMAX movie about the Rolling Stones (but am aiming for it this time).  I did, get a rock and roll makeover courtesy of The Beauty Team. It was amazing.  I sat in the audience and listened to League of Rock do a few numbers (though if you’re more ambitious than I am, you can actually play with them).  I watched and participated in a presentation on neuroscience and music where we had to clap out different rhythms at different tempos. I ate some of the Fleetwood Mac n’ Cheese (topped with pulled pork – it was amazing).  Then, after taking in all of the various attractions, I headed into the main exhibit.  The Science of Rock and Roll exhibit has something for everyone!  I loved the history exhibits with artifacts from different decades in rock history.  The reactables were a lot of fun to play with and distort all the music and see what effect changing the balance or the instrumentation has on a piece of music. The hands on demo with the different instruments that make up a typical rock band was a ton of fun – I especially enjoyed the left handed bass guitar.  All the adults lined up nicely to take turns and nobody felt bad about trying things out because we weren’t taking time away from a kid who wanted a turn.

 

All in all it was one of the most fun nights out I’ve had in a long time. Sorry you missed it?  Don’t be – there is still one more ScienceRocks! Adults Only night left – Thursday September 18th!  The event on the 18th features all of the fun of the earlier dates plus a ukulele choir (I have to admit, this intrigues me).   There is a hands on session where you can make your own cigar box guitar to take home which looks pretty awesome. The headliners for the evening are Steve Cropper and Jonny Rosch.   I’m looking forward to finding out what Johann Sebastian Joust is all about.  It sounds fun.

Tickets are $15 in advance or $18 at the door for non members and $12 in advance or $14.40 at the door for members.  Parking is free.

For more information and to purchase tickets, head to the Ontario Science Centre website.

 

Hair today…

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I have a love-hate relationship with my hair. It grows quickly, which is both a blessing and a curse (my one experiment with a fringe was extremely frustrating as I had to trim it weekly to keep it out of my eyes). I’m never sure what colour my hair is – it’s either light brown or dark blonde depending on the lighting and the season. In the summer, I get gorgeous natural highlights. I’ve dyed my hair twice – not permanently, and not recently. Again, the quick rate at which my hair grows would mean that I’d be forever touching up roots and that isn’t something I want to spend time and money on. My hair is what my former stylist (he retired from the haircut business to teach others how to work magic on hair at the high school trade level) calls “poker straight”. I will never need a straightener. It is also incredibly soft. So soft that clips and pony tail holders often slide out. I’ve had some success with curling irons but it usually involves mousse in damp hair and half a container of hairspray to get a couple hours of moderate curl. My hair is fine – when it is short (at my ears or even at my chin) it seems even finer. So for the last decade or so I’ve kept it shoulder length or longer. Every couple of years I donate my hair to Pantene Beautiful Lengths. The minimum donation length is 8″ but I’ve donated 15″ twice (I still had “medium-long” hair afterwards too). I’m at the point where my hair hits the small of my back so I need to do something about it. This is where the trouble starts.

I’m not a fashionista. I don’t like looking through beauty magazines because doing so often brings up all sorts of body image issues. I don’t know what type of hairstyle would look good on me and though I want a change, I don’t want a drastic one. My best friend has been hounding me for years to get a short haircut. I don’t think that going from below the bra line hair to a short cut would be too drastic for me. I also have a practical need for slightly longer hair – I work with kids who have special needs and being able to pull my hair back so that it can’t be pulled is really useful. I don’t want to have to pull it back all the time and right now it is so long that having it tied back is the only practical option, whether it is in an updo or a braid. I’d love to have hair that didn’t need to be tied back or done up all the time but I’m not sure what that would look like. The other problem is that since my stylist retired, I’ve been bouncing around and haven’t yet found anyone I trust completely. I have had some really bad haircuts in my past when hairdressers didn’t listen to me or when their idea of a trim ended up being 4″ shorter than my idea of a trim. I’m not the kind of girl who washes her hair daily (it’s too soft as it is, and washing it daily makes it even softer and completely unmanageable). I own a blow dryer but have used it mostly to make melted crayon art. I don’t want to buy (or use) a ton of hair products, and I really don’t have time in the morning to spend more than 10 minutes on my hair trying to make it look “right”. I need a style that is pretty much wash and wear.

The final issue is that the last time I donated my hair, it didn’t go as planned. I raised money to support breast cancer research, and donated my hair at a Toronto Argos game. It was my 4th donation so I knew what to expect – two elastics, hair cut in between them. Except the volunteer hair stylist (a friend of a friend) didn’t follow the program and cut 2″ above the top elastic. This made my hair seriously uneven and when it was evened up, it was too short to pull back. I cried for days. It grew back, as it always does, but I don’t want to have that happen again. Given that horrible experience, you may ask why I want to donate my hair again. The answer is simple: it’s something I can do to help others. After the last debacle, while I was feeling sorry for myself after the game, someone approached me to thank me. He told me that a close friend had received a wig through the Pantene Beautiful Lengths campaign and that it had given her a much needed boost in morale at a very difficult time in life. I have never forgotten his words that night or the picture he brought to show me at the next home game of his friend. I feel that donating my hair is something I should do because I can and because it is a small gesture that can help a woman going through hell. So I’m announcing it here – I’m going to donate my hair in the near future.

 

Now all I need is to figure out what to do with it after my donation. I’m including a pic of what my hair looked like 6 months after my last donation it grew out quickly – it took a lot of fussing with the curling iron to get it to flip and there is a section at the back that flipped the other way so I don’t really want to do this again.  Besides it’s not really a style it’s just shorter hair that still doesn’t do anything. My hair looks like that now except it’s a good foot longer. SONY DSC

 

My Comfort Zone and Why I’m Jumping out of it for BlissDom Canada

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On October 27th 2013, my world was turned upside down. My mum, who was my rock, passed away quite unexpectedly. I had just started teacher’s college and was looking forward to sharing the joys and sorrows of my new career with the woman who had always pushed me to try new things and follow my heart. The last year has been hard.  Harder than I ever thought it would be. I am immensely thankful for the support of friends both new and old, online and offline. Were it not for them, I don’t know how I would have managed.  My best friend dropped everything and drove up when my dad called her and broke the news so that I wouldn’t have to hear it on my own. A close friend from public school and high school who I’d lost touch with came to the funeral. My classmates were phenomenal – the first week back was awkward because nobody knew what to say but they understood when I rushed out of a class in tears. My online community closed ranks around me and were there when I needed to vent and checked in on me if I’d been silent too long. I found a new online community as well – those who have lost someone close to them unexpectedly. We support each other through our ups and downs and celebrate the good times and try to make the bad times as short as possible. I can’t thank these people enough.

Grief changes everything. It is as if you are looking through the word through a mist. Some days you feel the fog is lifting but other days it obscures everything. I know mum wouldn’t have wanted me to stop my life, but some days it’s just so hard to find motivation to do anything. Routines bring comfort, I was back at school a week after mum died (mostly because my program demanded it), but some things brought back too many memories. It took a couple of months before I could return to my Pathfinder unit. Guiding was something special mum and I shared and while continuing in Guiding was what I wanted to do, the first time I put on my uniform I laid on my bed and cried for 2 hours.

I spent the last year trying to get back in the rhythm of every day life. I moved home after mum died, partly to help take care of dad who had lost his partner and best fried, but partly because I needed him to support me too. It hasn’t always been easy, but we have learned to lean on each other and take life one day at a time. I think we are getting closer to a ‘new normal’. I have battled the twin demons of depression and anxiety and while I’m not cured (nor will I ever be), I am having more good days than bad. I still miss mum every day, I still catch myself thinking “I should call her” when I get news, but I’m adjusting to life without her physical presence in my life.

Given all of that, I was surprised when I found myself entertaining the idea of going to BlissDom Canada. I’m not a social butterfly. I don’t like crowds of people when I know many of them. Interestingly, put me in front of a room full of strangers and I’m golden. I had no problem appearing on radio talk shows to talk about military history, hosting a podcast about Canadian Football, or lecturing to 400 students in an undergraduate class. Once I know more than 10% of the people though, I start getting really nervous and imagining all the things that could go wrong or all the stupid things I could say.  It gets bad enough that I have broken out in hives at social gatherings. So why would I want to attend a social media and blogging conference where I would know many of the people either from real life or from social media? The answer is pretty clear – because mum would want me to. Mum always encouraged me to test my boundaries, to push myself out of my comfort zone and live life as fully as possible. She would see this conference as an amazing way to meet people, learn new skills, and have some fun. So I registered.

In the week since I registered, I’ve vacillated between excitement and dread. Financially, it was a stretch to afford the conference fee, but with the discount code from the Yummy Mummy Club and the Early Bird pricing, it was doable. I’m not sure about the hotel – I think it would be really good for me to stay over at the conference so that I don’t have the temptation to jump in the car and drive home, but it’s another expense and the thought of finding roommates brings up even more anxieties – what if nobody wants to be my roommate, what if nobody likes me, what if i make a fool of myself? – so I’m still debating that. I’m reading the posts in the Facebook groups, following the tweets, and reading the newsletters and website obsessively. I’m beginning to swing more towards excitement than dread but I’m still more nervous about this than anything I’ve done in recent memory.

The people I know who are going to BlissDom Canada are awesome. They are telling me how much fun I will have and how nobody will care if i need to escape out of the room for a few minutes to calm myself down. They tell me not to worry about what I wear but, of course, I do. I was never one of the cool kids. I was never what you would call fashionable.  Clothes are something to be worn so that you don’t go around naked. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve worn heels. So I worry that I won’t fit in. I worry that I won’t know what to wear for the parties. I worry that I will be over dressed or under dressed or dressed in the wrong clothes. I worry that people won’t like me. I worry that people will decide I’m nowhere near as interesting as I appear to be online (which is pretty sad since I’m not all that interesting online!) and not want to talk to me.  I worry that since I took the last  year off from blogging (mostly because the thought of one more thing to do overwhelmed me – there are at least 15 posts that I started and never finished), I’m too out of the loop to be at a blogging conference. I worry I won’t have anything in common with the people I thought I knew.

Despite all of this, I’m still going. I have watched the tweets and posts from previous years with a twinge of envy. This year I won’t be reading the tweets and posts from home but from the conference itself. I’m not sure what to expect, I’m not sure I can get through it without a panic attack, but I am sure of one thing: Mum would have wanted me to go. So if you see me at BlissDom Canada with a look of terror in my eyes, come say hi. It’s not you, it’s me.